Summer Roberts' Guide to Geography
by Jack E. Peace
Summary: Summer has to presenatation to do for geography class, but somehow, it's not what her teacher had in mind.


Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.

A/N: So, this story probably isn't going to be funny to anyone else, but I figured I just had to write it for my best friend, since it includes lots of our crazy inside jokes. Anyway, please review and tell me what you think and try to read this in good in humor. Thanks

Summer Roberts did nothing to stifle the yawn that escaped her lips as she sat in her geography class. She was trying to decide whether or not to file her nails as she gave a quarter of her attention to her best friend, Marissa Cooper, who stood in the front of the room, giving a presentation on India. After a minute, she decided against filing, deciding to continue smacking the pink slap bracelet she had found in the bottom of one of her drawers against her wrist.

Beside her, Seth Cohen reached out and grabbed the bracelet before it could slap down again. "Stop." He suggested. "Mr. Mackry is looking at you." He explained when Summer glared at him.

Pulling her bracelet away from Seth, Summer looked in the direction of their balding and very unhappy teacher, who was indeed staring at her. She sighed and slipped the bracelet into her purse.

Marissa finished her presentation and Seth and Summer clapped until she had returned to her desk. After jotting down a few notes, Mackry thanked Marissa for her presentation and looked back at Summer. "Miss Roberts," he began. "Perhaps you would care to take a break from disrupting the class and show us your project."

Summer sighed and stood up, picking up the poster-board she had put together the night before. The top of the board was labeled: "California: Home of _The Valley_." When the teacher had given Summer the topic of her project, Seth had figured she would do a great job because it was the state they lived in. Now he wasn't so sure.

"So, my project is about California." Summer began, gesturing toward her poster. "California is the greatest state because it has all sorts of cool stuff, like my best friend and my boyfriend and the ocean and _The Valley_." She smiled. "Which is still a great show even though Grady Bridges is a total butt-face."

From their seats, Marissa and Seth sighed and Seth hide his face in his hands, as though he couldn't bear to watch. Mackry seemed to be having the same reaction. "Miss Roberts," he grumbled, "perhaps you could tell us a little about California's geography. Since that _was _the assignment."

Summer sighed impatiently. "The Pacific Ocean is on one side and Nevada and Arizona are on the other side." She explained. "But those are lame places." Marissa rolled her eyes. "Because they don't have cool places like Hollywood or the beach."

Mackry groaned again. "Miss Roberts, please stay on topic." He commanded, his words greeted with another eye roll.

"I was just getting to that." Summer told him. "This is New Port, where we live." She pointed to a star on the state on the map. "And this is Chino." Marissa smiled slightly, as though touched that Ryan's hometown had made it on the map. "Next to Chino is the Bronx." Marissa's face fell.

Seth muttered to himself and slapped the palm of his hand on his forehead. "Why?" He moaned under his breath. "Why?"

Of course, Seth knew just why Summer had told her teacher and the class that the Bronx was next to Chino. A few weeks ago, she had discovered the joys of the teenage singer, JoJo. In Seth's opinion, fourteen-year-old JoJo was quite the littler ho-ho but the one time he had mentioned that to his girlfriend, his shoulder had stung for a week.

Anyway, Summer had learned that her new idol was from the Bronx, but all she knew of that place was that it was dirty and tough. Just like Chino. "Ryan," she had said. "The Bronx is close to Chino, isn't it?"

Ryan had rolled his eyes. "Sure." Summer hadn't seen the sarcasm in his eyes and, therefore, hadn't gotten the joke. And, clearly, she still hadn't.

Mackry's jaw dropped open but before he could even form words, Summer was continuing. "Here's the Hollywood sign." She said, pointing to the words on the state. "If you want to be a star, you go there."

Seth couldn't let this madness continue, he had to say something to keep Summer from further disgracing herself. The class was already snickering, but seemed oblivious. "Summer," he said, getting her attention. "Hollywood is not behind the sign."

Summer glared at him; they'd had this conversation before and Seth figured the result was going to be the same. "Cohen," she said primly, "it is too, why else would the sign be there?"

Mackry cleared his throat before Seth or Summer could say anything more. "Miss Roberts, why on Earth would you say that?" Summer looked at him. "There are hills behind the Hollywood sign." He was clearly getting fed up.

Summer fixed her hands on her hips impatiently. "Hollywood is inside the hills, why do you think it's so hard to make it in?" She seemed so serious about the question that the class fell silent.

After a moment, Summer cleared her throat. "Can I continue my project, please?" She questioned.

Mackry stood up. "No, you cannot." He headed over to where Summer was standing. "For starters, the Bronx is nowhere near Chino. It's on the other side of the country." He pulled down a huge map of the United States that covered the blackboard.

Summer watched him through narrowed eyes as he pointed out in the Bronx on the state of New York. She sighed when Mackry looked back at her. "So, maybe I was wrong about that." She remarked. "But it's a good thing that the Bronx is in New York, because they don't have anything else cool up there."

Seth's mouth fell open and Marissa dropped her head on her desk and shut her eyes. It was sometimes unbearable to think about what would come out of her mouth next. Mackry seemed at a loss of words as well. Finally, he fumbled, "What about the Statue of Liberty, or the..." he sighed, frustrated.

Summer smiled slightly, as though she had been waiting for that moment and Seth was almost afraid to hear what would come out of her mouth next. "The Statue of Liberty is in Kentucky." She jabbed her finger at the state. Indeed, there was a Liberty, Kentucky. "And next to that is London." Summer's finger stabbed again. "That's where Orlando Bloom is from."

Marissa whacked her head against her desk again. Seth couldn't figure out where Summer's information was coming from. Mackry seemed to be wondering the same thing Summer, however, was on a roll.

"In Georgia, you can find a giant chicken." She continued. "The Empire State Building is in Kansas." She pointed to a city in the mid-west. "And that's all the landmarks."

For a moment, there was nothing but silence, everyone was clearly waiting for Mackry to say something. Finally, he did, "First off, that is not all of the landmarks." He cleared his throat. "What about the Grand Canyon? Or the arches, or-"

Summer waved her hand dismissively. "You can find the arches anywhere." She told him. "Anywhere there's a major fast food restaurant." She grinned.

Mackry was silence once more and Summer cleared her throat. "So, in conclusion," she told the class. "California is the best state, because it's got Hollywood and really cool people like me. Thank you."

After a moment, several students starting clapping; Seth figured if he wasn't so stunned by what he had just seen, he would have been clapping as well. As for Marissa, banging your forehead against the surface of the desk didn't count as applause. Summer smiled, retrieved her poster and returned to her seat.

Seth looked at his girlfriend. "Summer, what were you thinking?" He questioned, leaning over to speak to her. "You've been to New York; hell, you've even been to London. You know it's not in Kentucky!"

The grin remained on Summer's face. "I know." She told him and Seth looked at her with surprise. "I just thought it would be fun to see Mackry have an aneurysm."

Seth looked up at their teacher, who indeed looked like he would soon be in need of medical attention, unsure of just what to do. Summer was still grinning when he looked back at her. "That's what he gets for giving me a C on the state capitals test."

Seth sighed and shook his head, baffled by just what to say. "I don't know how you do it Summer." He remarked. "I just don't understand." Summer Roberts was the only person he knew that would risk a project grade just to get back at a teacher.

The grin grew wider. "It's just part of my charm."


End file.
